Here and There
'Alf Term
All Saints?
Ambiguous Intransitive
Fishy Hereafter
Here and There
Lament of the Old Choristers
Lemon Baptism
Ode to Wetwang
The Ostrich


If I should one day plan to take a picnic
And enjoy what's called "The balmy summer air",
Be sure that there's a weatherman to tell me,
"There'll be a spot of rain, just here and there!"

If I should think to take my boat a'sailing
In 'Dogger', 'Sole', or even 'Finisterre',
I'm bound to get a cheerful weather forecast,
"Beware of nasty squalls just here and there!"

I'd like to take a day off, going swimming,
(Which involves my being near completely bare).
Alas, there threatens on the 'telly',
"There'll be a sharpish frost just here and there."

Should I then take the car to Edinburgh,
Or drive up the M. 5 to Shewsbury fair?
Best not! The wisdom of the experts
Says, "There'll be some thickish fog just here and there."

When I'm incarcerated in the basement,
(My office is the one just down the stair),
I hear that well-known voice upon the radio,
"A hot and sunny day, most everywhere!"

Meteorology is the 'science' of prediction,
But, pondering, I think, "Would it be fair
"To ask for a considerable refinement
"In defining where is 'here' and where is 'there'?"

The trouble is that I'm an individual
Who, by definition, can't be 'here' and 'there'.
I regret the inexactitude of science
Which makes me feel, "Because I'm here, I'm not all there."


The Estate of William John Green, 2004