Lemon Baptism
'Alf Term
All Saints?
Ambiguous Intransitive
Fishy Hereafter
Here and There
Lament of the Old Choristers
Lemon Baptism
Ode to Wetwang
The Ostrich


Some lines written after reading that a particular Bishop, if asked to use the oil of chrism at a Baptism, will also want a bowl of water and 'a slice of lemon' (sic) to cleanse his fingers. (The significant contents of lemon juice being citric acid and vitamin C.)

LEMON BAPTISM. (Confirmation to follow.)

'There must be some water, there must be a prayer,
And, (if you'll excuse me) the child must be there.
But if chrism is wanted, be sure that there'll be
Some strong citric acid and vitamin C!'

'To lay hands on heads and confirm in God's name
And give them my Blessing - it would be a shame
With oil on my fingers - I know you'll agree
So bring citric acid and vitamin C!'

'Renounce the old devil, put Satan to flight
And battle for Jesus with main and with might,
'Cos now we are making a Christian of thee
With strong citric acid and vitamin C.!'

'The service is over, so let's go and eat -
With coffee we'll make your conversion complete!
But oh! how I long for a stiff 'G & T',
With ice, citric acid, and vitamin C!'


The Estate of William John Green, 2004