Limericks
 
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IDLE THOUGHTS IN IDLE MOMENTS

1. An old boy who hailed from Low Fell
wrote verses, and wrote them quite well.
He tried out some rhyming
whilst others were dining,
and, laughing, about they all fell.

2. There was an old boy from Low Fell
Who wrote verses, but not very well.
He attempted some rhyming
whilst others were dining
and muttering, "Oh ! b***** h*** !"

Written whilst musing in a small room and recalling preparations in the past for an intestinal endoscopy.

The was an old fellow from Hyde
Who had problems inside his inside.
He bought “SENACOT”
But swallowed the lot,
Now all of his inside’s outside

A certain Professor Einstein
said, “Of course my mathematics is fine.
I’m good at geography,
Weak on theology,
But I am quite an expert on ‘Time’ “
 

Imagine being asked to read the book of the Prophet Nahum aloud in Church.

The Bible contains some good news,
But some of it, I must refuse
To read to my buddy
Because it’s so bloody.
I’m sorry ! You’ll have to excuse !


The philosophy of life:

There was a young man from West Ham
Who translated Omar Khayyam;
He said, “It’s not Persian,
But in this new version,
You’ll find what you are and I am.”

WJG. 703

There once was a student named Crumm
Who took the train one day to Brum.
Alighting at Snow Hill
He began to feel so ill,
They asked him, “Oh why did you come ?”


In South Wolverhampton, ‘tis said,
They‘ve no idea how to make bread.
So they live on chapattis,
(From India, that is - )
To soak up their gravy instead.

© The Estate of William John Green, 2004