Next day, to see the Doctor
I went; to find out what
Had caused the deep depression which
Now plagued me such a lot

He tested my reactions,
And down my throat did peer,
Then said, "Sir, you are suffering from
A dose of logorrhoea! "

I asked, "Doc, is it catching?"
And he replied, "Oh yes!"
"You must have caught it somewhere else,
"But where? That YOU must guess."

I thought about that meeting
And soon the answer came.
I'd listened to twelve thousand words
And caught a dose of same!

"What is the treatment Doctor ?"
With fear I asked the quack.
"There's not much I can do for you."
He glumly answered back.

"Just peace and isolation
"Will ease your logorrhoea."
So I went down to the Rose and Crown
And drank two pints of beer.

WJG 25th March 1996